Canada is the country just north of the United States. If you look at Canada on a map, it looks like America’s hat. This is true even though Canada is much bigger than the US. It’s like the US is wearing a giant Cat in the Hat type hat, only it’s shaped funny.
Canada’s main exports are wood, technology, and hockey players. I would have thought that there is enough wood, technology, and hockey players in the US, but apparently the Canadians make them better.
Canada hosted the last Winter Olympics. There, the Canadians won a gold medal for curling, which I’m guessing is a game they just made up on the spot. I made up a game too. It’s called Grababo. Grababo involves chasing my dog Bo around until he falls over and I can grab him. I can’t wait for the Olympics to come back to the US. I am sure to win a gold medal at Grababo.
It can sometimes be hard to spot a Canadian because they look so much like us. The best way to figure out if someone is Canadian is to talk to them. First, ask if they are Canadian. They may say yes, but if they lie, get them to say the word “about.” They pronounce it “a boot,” like the things you put on a foot. I think they do this to sound better and more classy than us. The thing is they’re not. Did they invent the pizza bagel or the iPhone? No. We did. And we don’t have to mispronounce words to prove that we are better.
In conclusion, Canada may be bigger than us, but they are not better. They may be good at hockey and curling, but I’d like to see them grow a cactus outdoors.
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