At first, I didn’t really get why adults are interested in Tea Parties. My neighbor Megan is always trying to get me to attend her Tea Party, which consists of her stuffed animals sitting in chairs drinking fake tea out of little plastic cups. Does this sound like fun to you? I have a Wii. The Wii has games where you can pretend to be Payton Manning, a guitar god, and a zombie killer. Do you know what the Will doesn’t have? A game where you pretend to drink tea, because pretending to drink tea is boring. No wonder no one likes girls!
I read on the internet about the Boston Tea Party. The people there threw a bunch of tea into the Boston Harbor because they didn’t want to pay taxes on it. Adults are dumb. If the people wanted tea but didn’t want to pay taxes on it, they should have thrown it into a lake. That way, anytime they wanted iced tea, all they had to do was dip a ladle into the lake. Boston Harbor is connected to the Atlantic Ocean. It would take all of the tea in China to turn the ocean into iced tea, and even then it would be salty.
Today people join the Tea Party Movement because they want lower taxes and the government to get off their backs, which sounds reasonable to me. I want a jet pack. I bet if you asked most people in the Tea Party Movement, they’d say they want a jet pack too. I looked on the internet to find the head of the Tea Party Movement, but there isn’t one. So I am going to name myself, Will Divide Jr., the head of the Tea Party Movement. Free jet packs for everyone!
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